I've got to make this one work.
Over the last several years, I've made several failed attempts at keeping a regular online journal via Blogger. Well, kind of. I've only published a handful of posts beyond the ones used to post pictures of my kids and family for others to see. I even aborted that project once I had the bright idea of using Facebook to post photos and random posts because Facebook is where people go. But then I realized that every time I was about to post something to Facebook, I feel stupid for posting it, and usually just cancelled it. One time, my post expressed a political opinion which in retrospect I thought inappropriate; another would make a joke that half my friends wouldn't understand; and anytime I mentioned anything relating to my religion, I get that nagging sensation, knowing my non-Mormon friends might be turned off. Soon I was even having second thoughts about posting mundane stuff that wasn't thought out very well and sounded stupid in hindsight. Eventually I just stopped altogether -- in almost every case when I was going to post, there was some portion of my 'friends' who I didn't want to receive my post. Maybe there's a way to set up Facebook to easily post things that can only be seen by certain friends. Honestly though, I just don't trust Mark Zuckerberg. It feels like his mission is to make everyone's personal life open to everyone. I for one have certainly learned tons of personal stuff about people on Facebook who aren't my 'friends' -- I'm not going to make the same mistake.
So now I don't post anything, anywhere. My current solution that I'll go with is to make this blog anonymous. Of course that probably means that no one will actually read the blog, but that's not really my concern. The goal of this blog is to basically put to words what's in my heart. I don't spend lots of time feeling sorry for myself, but after thinking on it for 30+ years, I've concluded that I'm an extraordinarily misunderstood person. There isn't a soul on earth who really understands what I'm about, family included. It's not for lack of trying, though it's likely that I haven't tried hard enough. But that isn't to say I haven't tried. It's more like I've come to be skeptical of my ability to accurate express myself when talking to others, and most people aren't interested enough in me to be curious enough to dig past the surface.
So now I take a deep breath, take a vow to see this through, and do my best to be understood.